Nothing in life is certain; or, everything happens for a reason

So.

I received my Peace Corps letter in the mail today. It seems that my mild thyroiditis is cause to defer me for six months before they will even look at my medical paperwork, which means that I'll miss my original departure date. I'm going to get more blood work tomorrow and if that goes well I'm going to get my doctor to help me fight this, get them to change their minds or at the very least lessen it from six months to two or three months. However...

Even if that goes well, even if I get medically cleared, there is no guarantee that I will get in. I've been so sure that I would definitely get it, but right now they are facing a record number of applicants and huge budget cuts. Lots of people who are at the end of process, medically cleared and waiting for their invitations, are being dropped from the program for not having enough experience and leadership skills. The idea that after all of this work, seven months of hard work, I could not get in, is unimaginable. And I realized that I don't have a plan.

I have no plan other than the Peace Corps. If I don't get in, I'm lost, with a waitressing job and a college degree that means nothing in the real world. So I've decided that I'm going to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity in the area for more experience, and apply for grad school in the fall. My senior seminar teacher, who also teaches at Goucher, one of my top choice grad schools, said that she can see no reason why I wouldn't get into the program, especially with her backing. And I'll apply to a bunch of others as well. That way, if I don't get into the Peace Corps, I'll go into grad school next year (if I get into that!) So that's my plan. Write a portfolio, get some recs, and then apply.

If this happens, if I go to grad school and not the Peace corps, then I don't think I'll ever join the PC. I mean, maybe after grad school, but this is the perfect time in my life to do this. After grad school I'll hopefully have the experience to get a job I want, and I won't want to waste the connections I'll make by going away for two years. So it's seems to be now...or never.

Also, if I focus on the silver lining, then if I have to put off the PC, or don't get in at all, it will give me the ability to finish revising Dangerous People and find an agent. So maybe I'll get published sooner. So that's...something.

Everything happens for a reason. I have to believe this.

What's my reason? Where's the reason in all this?

Oh, the nerves

"A decision has been reached regarding your medical review. Please look for a letter in the mail."

This is what my Peace Corps toolkit said this morning. At first I freaked out (Good or bad? Good or bad?) but then I saw that it still said "There are no placement holds on your account on this time." So I think that perhaps they need more information and the letter will detail what they need. But why not say that on the website? THEY ARE TRICKSY LIKE THAT.

I will be quietly freaking out until I get that damn letter in the mail.