Sunday, November 29, 2009

Thanksgiving in Quito





Here is a quick entry to say that Thanksgiving this year was fantastic.


I went to the ambassador's house in Quito, ate a lavish meal with new friends, hung out with the ambassador and watched "Miracle on 34th street", went dancing, dawdled in a used bookstore, finally bought the end of Battlestar Galactica (and promptly watched it as soon as I got home), drank wine at a cafe and then ate spicy indian food. Everyone from the new PC group that I met were awesome, I felt comfortable and happy, and it really was a great couple of days.


Plus, it's now officially the Christmas season.


Two weeks!
PS: I also found out the reason that I've been getting sick so much lately is because I have amoebas, which is actually fantastic because I have a name to put to my problem and it is easily curable. Here's to (hopefully) the end of my stomach woes.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Nostagic thoughts

Now that I have internet in my apartment, I've been reading over all of my old livejournal entries from undergrad. It's a bit of nostagia, a bit of self torture: it makes me so, so homesick for Pittsburgh. Flying back to my apartment on my bicycle on a warm fall afternoon, stopping at the farmer's market on the way to browse the stalls for fresh produce and pie, giggling with Char over something completely random, sitting on that little grey couch in that place that felt like home for one brief year and feeling completely happy and at peace. That year still takes the place of the best year of my life, and I miss it with an ache that is almost tangible.

Not that I normally dwell on such things. I am very happy here, in Ecuador, in the Peace Corps. My work is going as well as can be expected, with the usual hiccups and people not showing up/cancelling charlas. There are electricity shortages so every day the power goes out for a few hours and I sit in the dark, surrounded by candles. The bunny continues to be cuddly and poops everywhere.

I just miss speaking my own language, having people in my life that I can really talk to, really be me, not this dumbed-down second-language version of me that everyone here sees. I miss the fact that Light Up Night is this weekend and I won't be there to see it, that my dad is going to make his traditional turkey neck soup on Thanksgiving and carve the turkey with the Thanksgiving bayonet and I won't be there to see it, that those sweet senior-year days are irrevocably lost to me now. I will never live in Pittsburgh again, never be so close to those people I care so much about again. Our culture is to move around, and our country is large enough to stretch our legs in. We scatter across the continent, across the world.

I guess all I want to say is: I miss you. All of you. I have a fantastic life here in Ecuador, I wake in the morning and thank God that I am here, in this place of eternal spring, but I miss you very deeply.

I chose a life that takes me far away, and I wouldn't change it for the world. But that doesn't mean that I can't look over my shoulder every once in a while.

Hippity Hoppity


Written on Monday, November 9, 2009

I was brushing my teeth the other day, standing on my roof and squinting in the early morning light, when I looked down and saw…

A bunny.

On my roof.

Really, it has to be one of the oddest things that has ever happened to me. Out of the many things one would not expect to see on a roof, a bunny is very high up on the list. It was (is) fuzzy and white with big floppy ears and giant bunny feet. I’ve named him Ben. I suppose he has another name, but I haven’t asked. I don’t even know if he really is a he. (So far only one friend has gotten why I chose the name Ben. He said, and I quote: "Oh, that's just sick!")

He’s my landlord’s sons’ new pet. They don’t have anywhere to put him right now so they are keeping him on the roof. Which is fine by me, except when he poops.

Plus, he’s an odd bunny. I mean, I’m not an expert in bunny behavior, but I always assumed that they were a little like guinea pigs, always afraid and cowering in a corner somewhere. Not this bunny. This bunny is awesome. He hops around the roof, follows me around, sits in my lap, nibbles my toes, and inspects my rooms. He’s the damn friendliest bunny ever.

So Ben the Bunny is my new pseudo-pet, the way Tilney the Dog was my old pseudo-pet. And that’s about all I have in bunny news today.

In other news, which I won’t really get into because I’m still upset by it, I got sick in El Chaco and was unable to go whitewater rafting. Yeah, it sucked.

Plus, I’m sick now, and have been practically bed ridden for the past four days. Luckily, I had no plans, so was just able to sleep a lot, and drink many cups of tea and eat pudding for dinner.

What else is new? I have a lot of work planned for the upcoming weeks. Adam has left to venture into the jungle, which leaves me relieved and happy to be left alone for a while. All of my Christmas shopping is (finally) done. Over half of my novel is revised. I have friends in town who are actually my age. Things are going very, very well here.

Plus, bunnies make everything better.

5 weeks until I go home! 5 weeks! Gahhh! *flails* I’ve never been so excited for anything in my life.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Small Blessings

So the other day Adam and I walk out of the apartment, on our way to Ambato to wash alllll of my dirty laundry, and he stops, cocks his head, looks around, and asks: “Where’s my motorcycle?”

To which I very intelligently said: “Huh?”

“My motorcycle.”

“Are you sure you parked it here?”“Yes.”

“Well….shit.”

We both did long, sweeping evaluations of the street, as if it were going to magically pop up a few doors down from when it was parked. We would have panicked, but it was long gone, and seeing as how Adam hadn’t even locked it or anything, it seemed rather stupid to panic.

Actually, he took it rather well, besides a few scathing remarks about Ecuadorians. I was hurt, because my town is touted on being so safe, the people so nice, and I felt incredibly secure here, and that feeling was now ruined. Plus, I was sure, absolutely positive, that this wouldn’t have happened it he wasn’t a gringo. Shitty Ecuador, I thought. Stupid for me to believe that there would be any decency in this place, or that in the place I call my home people wouldn’t want to rob me blind.

A few days go by. Adam makes a few flyers, advertising a reward for the bike. I tell him, in nicer words, that he can do whatever he wants, but he is being stupid. Really stupid. The bike is long gone, probably sold for parts by now. Making flyers is stupid waste of time. In fact, the Ecuadorians will probably snicker at him behind his back for doing such a thing. Let it go.

He makes the flyers and pastes them around town.

Two days later, I get the call. Someone has the bike.

The story goes: This young guy was going to his work as an ayudante (driver’s helper) on the buses at about 5 am last Monday when he saw a motorcycle in the middle of a back street, bent up and with the shit kicked out of it, but still functioning, only a few things broken. Never one to miss an opportunity, he loads it into the back of a truck and takes it home. A few days later, he spots the flyers and gives me a call. I go and see it: he’s telling the truth. There, in all of its banged up glory, is Adam’s motorcycle.

Well, holy shit.

I’m just…awestruck. Blown away. This is incredible. That anyone, but especially a young man with a crappy job and a wife and kid in this country where it is so, so easy to take a bike to a shop and strip it for parts, no questions asked, would return a motorcycle is unbelievable. Now of course there’s the odd chance that he took it hoping there would be a reward, but that’s kind of silly. Most people wouldn’t have put up a flyer. And honestly, if he was going to be dishonest, he could have made a lot more money stripping it for parts than the reward we’re giving him, which is $200. Adam guestimates that he could have made at least $400 by selling. So this young guy just took a $200 pay cut to do the right thing.

Faith in Humanity = restored.

This whole story just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

In other news, I’m going whitewater rafting with other PC volunteers this Halloween, costume include. (I’m a pirate....arrrrr). I’ve been spending a lot of time in my hammock; during the day it’s a great nap or book revision spot, as long as I have lots of sunblock, and at night there is enough light to read by, so I can snuggle in a blanket with a pillow and a good book.

I am so incredibly content right now, doing my work and having plenty of time to myself as well. My first charlas went fantastically and I have more scheduled for the upcoming weeks. And Christmas….don’t get me started! I’m so excited I can’t even express it. Seven weeks!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Did I fall asleep? For a little while; or, it seems my titles are descending into incomprehensible tv show quotes

Hello all.


It’s been far too long since I updated my blog, but life has been crazy and busy and crazy and busy and fantastic.

I moved out of my previous town and into Patate, which has changed things so completely that I can’t even express it in words. My apartment is amazing, I have work flooding in from all sides, and have been having adventures like it’s nobody’s business. I met a guy, but that’s a whole other story that I won’t be getting into here (he’s leaving soon, anyway.) I’ve been in a cloud forest and traveled around and done so many, many things that I’ll have to tell you all about when I see you.

Memorable moments:

-The grad school fair in Quito was amazing, and totally changed my outlook on what I want to go to graduate school for. My choice now: a dual degree in international relations and journalism. There are several great schools that offer dual degrees like this, including the University of Syracruse, U of Denver, and American.

-I got into the Anti-TIPS task force, a Peace Corps group that fights human trafficking in Ecuador. We meet for the first time next month in Guayaquil!

- I was in my very first earthquake! The whole room shook and things fell off the shelf. I had to run under a doorway to be safe, but it wasn’t that bad so there was no danger. Actually it was all very exciting.

- I have work in several communities, one of which is in a cloud forest. I have almost too much work to do at the moment, and I might have to start turning people down soon. I’m also working with a conservation group, which has taken the place in my life that the Red Cross was supposed to take. They help me and take me to communities and work with me every step along the way. They are my saving grace.

-Reconnect was a long week of lectures, but we had some good times, and at the end of it almost everyone from our Omnibus came to Rio Bamba for the weekend.

-I went to my first Ecuadorian wedding last night, for the daughter of the family that I am very close to in Patate. It was beautiful and very western with the bride in a white dress and a solemn ceremony.

-I AM GETTING INTERNET IN MY APARTMENT. I am officially in Posh Corps. I live in the center of a lovely town, several blocks from a pool, and I’m getting cheap internet in my apartment. So everyone, take note: get a skype account. I will be available to speak almost every day.


-Many things happened that I can’t talk about here, but were all unique and fun and crazy and life changing.


Of course, there are always down sides. I’m nervous with all of this work, facing my first real classes, and worried that everyone is going to find out that I don’t really know what I am talking about. The boy situation has turned sad, as he is leaving soon and I will miss his presence in my life. I am missing my best friend’s wedding in two weeks. I miss home like crazy, which is weird because I am so happy here, but it has just been a long time and I feel the pull of homesickness every day.

This is a beautiful place that I live in. I am happy in Ecuador.

Nine weeks until December 15th!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Destiny, John, is a Fickle Bitch

Okay, so maybe my last entry was a little depressing. Truth is, I’ve been a little depressed lately. It took making myself sick in Tena to allow myself to admit: I’ve been depressed. And I’m okay with that. In fact, isn’t it a right of passage in the Peace Corps, to go through the U-Curve and be a little depressed and culture-shocky for a while before rising up, phoenix-like, stronger than before and able to deal with anything life hands you?

Yeah, I’m choosing to look at it like that. Phoenix Sarah. That’s me.

And it’s ending, because the truth is, life is about to get a whole lot better really soon, and really fast. At the moment I’m still in my house in LV, spending my days alone and marginally crazy, but yes! September, the month of change and awesomeness, is in a few days. And then…

I found an apartment! And it’s been approved! It’s amazing and I love it and I want to give it kisses and snuggles. It is in Patate, perched on the roof of a three story building overlooking the beautiful central park, which means that I will have the whole roof to myself, which also means that I will be able to eat/lay in my hammock/write/watch tv on my laptop/do yoga/mediate/ do anything I freaking want to outside, without anyone being able to see me or stare at me or anything! I am right near the internet café, the central park, the weekly market, G and G’s house (the lovely family who has kept me sane here), the bus stop, the bakery, everything. There is even a gym in Patate, but I have to check it out, because it’s probably pretty skanky.

I will still try and do work in my current community, but there is no reason for me to live here. In fact, it’s even detrimental to my other work, considering how hard it is to get to town and how expensive it is to get a car back. In Patate, there is even talk of my working with women’s groups on things like food production and family gardens, among the million other possibilities that will open up to me once I live there.

Though part of me does feel bad, with thoughts like, “if I had just stuck it out a little bit longer, could I really have integrated? Could I have made this village my own, been accepted into the community, done some real good?” but then I realize that I’ve been giving it my all for four months with no success, and honestly, my mental health needs this. I need this. And even though, or especially because, I’m in the Peace Corps, far from home trying to do some good in this world, I need to come first. This will make me happy. I need this.

(On a side note: I discovered the other day that no one has been visiting me, and simply staring at me from the end of my path, because my landlord has been telling them that they are not allowed to come to my house for any reason! That no one but his family can visit me! I’m heard some really not-nice things about my landlord. I’ve tried to correct this prohibition, but still…chalk it up to one more reason to hightail it out of here.)

So, the apartment is still being fixed up, and will hopefully be ready just in time for the fiestas de cantonizacion in Patate, the festival of the founding of the town. It’s a really big deal, and I think that there will be parades and fireworks. One more great thing about September.

More good September news: On the 7th there is a graduate school fair for international studies in Quito that I’m going to try and go to. Schools like Harvard and Georgetown will be represented, and I’m really excited and curious to hear about what kind of programs and job opportunities are out there for someone who wants to spend their whole life traveling. I still have Goucher’s nonfiction writing MFA as my first choice, but it’s nice to have an open mind.

Also: Reconnect! Sadly, not with the whole Omnibus, but it will be a fun week in Rio Bamba nonetheless.

Also: School starts! Enter Sarah: English teacher of small children (made all the more interesting/scary by the fact that I don’t really like small children), agricultural helper of high schoolers and an elementary ecological club, working side by side with teachers, doctors, Red Cross volunteers, missionaries, and guitar-playing nuns. Life is going to be interesting.

Also: It will be only three months until I go home for Christmas, and I will be able to finally buy my plane ticket and have a set date!

Three cheers for September!

God, I need this.

In other news, when I wasn’t sick, Tena was awesome. What a great cluster. Dan and Laurel = my heroes. Sarah K’s puppy = adorable. The weather = heaven. The city = clean and beautiful.

We went caving at Sarah K’s site. Headlamps, swimming through underground pools and climbing up underground waterfalls, bats flitting about overhead, the air cool and damp: it was an adventure. At one point as we moved onward, Sarah K paused and looked at a massive heap of rocks, musing: “hmmm, that wasn’t there the other day. It looks a whole section of the ceiling just caved in.”

To which we all replied: “WHAT????”

She said: “You guys want to keep going down this way?”

“HELL NO!”

So we went down another “arm” of the caves, one that tourists don’t usually go down, and it wasn’t until we had climbed up a steep, slippery hill to stand on a large plateau that Sarah K said: “Oh yeah, these are the spider caves. There are SO MANY down here. And they are super poisonous too. Kind of spider-scorpions. But spiders. Big ones. Really big. Huge.”

And then, shining a light on the wall, Mike goes: “Oh yeah. Here’s one.”

Dan: “Wow, I can see it from all the way over here.”

Mike: “Here’s another one. And another. Here’s one. Here’s one. Here’s one.”

Someone else: “Wow, there are like ten spiders on that wall alone.”

Me: (Hyperventilating) Have I mentioned that I have really bad arachnophobia?

Sarah K: Okay, now everyone turn out your headlamps and let’s stand in the dark! I want to tell a story.

Me: (Hyperventilating) Have I mentioned that I have really bad arachnophobia?!!!

Everyone: Oh, come on, it’s okay, they’re all the way over on that wall, they’re more scared of you than you are of them, we’ll only be in the dark for a second, etc etc…

Me: (Hyperventilating) HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I HAVE REALLY BAD ARACHNOPHOBIA?????

In the end (and I’m so proud of myself) I turned off my headlamp and stood in the dark, though I have to admit I was prancing around like a nervous horse, lifting my feet in a strange kind of dance to discourage any large spider-scorpions from mistaking my leg for a stalagmite. And I got through it! I’ve come a long, long way from how bad this fear used to be. However, it didn’t help that as we walked back Mike kept looking around and saying, “There’s one, there’s one…”

So I survived the spider caves! I am a brave warrior.

I think that is the theme of this entry: I am a brave warrior. Brave, brave, brave warrior.

One final note: I never mean to upset or scare anyone with these blog entries. Please, my loving family and friends, be assured that I am safe and taking very good care of myself. I am in no danger, not in my site or anywhere in Ecuador. Please, don’t take my rants as a reason to worry about me. I am a brave warrior.

That being said, it’s nice to know that people love me enough to worry. I’m deeply sorry for causing you anxiety, Uncle Charlie, and I hope to see you and the whole family at Christmas. I love you.

I love all of you.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

No witty title today, kids

It’s another long day in my community, and I am going a little out of my mind. I haven’t written in this blog for the past month for the simple fact that there has been nothing to write about. Things are not going particularly well in my community, and in fact I just received permission to start looking for a house in Patate.

My community is unreceptive, uncaring, and never in their homes. Doing my CAT tools is practically impossible, because even when I do track down people they tell me it is not a good time, and when I go to their house at the time they tell me to, they are not there. When we set up meetings, and I let the community choose the day and time and everyone agrees to show up, no one does. Not a single person.

Plus, despite the fact that I have been here several months, the whole “fishbowl” effect isn’t waning. If I leave my door open people regularly camp out in their free time at the end of the path facing my house and stare at me. Don’t come to say hello, don’t wave back if I wave, don’t talk to me, nothing. They just stare. For hours, as I sit at my table or do my dishes. It’s unnerving, and I’m getting tired of it.

I hear stories of other communities, where people get invited to houses for lunch or for a cafecito, or to do something with the family, or something. Not here. There are a few nice people but honestly, people either act like I am bothering them or they laugh at me, openly laugh at me to the point that I’ve stopped sitting at the soccer court in the afternoons because no one talks to me or responds to my attempts at conversation but instead just shoots me grins and whispers and laughs in my direction.

So I’m thrilled to start the house hunt in Patate. Patate is beautiful, clean, with openly friendly people who, even though I don’t live in town, invite me to their houses all the time. There is a great family that I am already friends with, and it is safe, tranquil, with significantly less drinking. Most of my work is in Patate anyway, and some might be in Pelileo, the Red Cross is based in Patate, my counterpart is in Patate, and most of my integration is in Patate. All I need to do is find a house for rent, get someone from the PC here, and get it approved. I’m hoping, if all goes well, I can move out of here in maybe two months. We will see.

In other news, I’ve had some good times. Mostly I’ve been under house arrest and blisteringly bored (writing a lot), waiting for this government visit that has never happened. But Joyce came to visit me, and we had a great time just talking and relaxing. Then I visited her in Puyo, which I actually quite like, for its warmth and “jungle town” feel. We went to this little piece of jungle in the city that an American married to a Shuar woman set up, and took his tour where he talked in depth about various indigenous cultures and medicinal plants. It was fascinating. I’m starting to regret that I didn’t ask to be placed in the jungle, where the indigenous cultures are so unique. The anthropologist in me wants to study them.

Josh visited too, this past weekend, which was really fun except for the fact that nothing went right: The “waterfall” hike we went on had no waterfall and wasn’t much of a hike, and then the stocked fishing pond was all out of fish that day! We mostly wandered and talked the whole time, and I cooked a lot.

One of the great things about his visit was, once again, getting to see the sweetness and generosity of the Ecuadorian people. When a group of girls carrying bunches of carnations passed, and I commented on how pretty the flowers were, they gave me some. When we walked by a granadilla farm, the farmer gave us an armful. Moments like this just make me brim with happiness.

We will see where the next months take me. At the very least, I know that when school starts in September and my work revs up, life will be purposeful and less boring. For now, I’m house hunting and trying to organize talks that people will actually show up to. We’ll see how it goes.

PS: Sarah’s book reviews:

Book I Was Disappointed In But You Should Really Read Anyway:
“Confessions of an Economic Hitman” : Fascinating premise, shockingly real, and contains information that everyone in the world should be aware of. It makes international politics and what is happening in the world so much clearer. However, it is poorly written by a selfish, navel-gazing, narcissistic author who muses and justifies with very little exciting action. Still, read it, for the information alone. And don’t feel bad if you think he is a selfish prick. He is.

Book I Picked Up On A Whim And Turned Out To Be One Of The Best I’ve Ever Read:
“Savages” : If you have any interest in ancient cultures, anthropology, the destruction of the Amazon rainforest, oil companies, Ecuador, South America in general, or if you just want to read some of the most gripping and beautiful prose ever, pick this book up. It’s about how the fierce and fading Huaroni people are fighting the big oil companies to preserve the rainforest and their culture, and just what exactly oil drilling is really doing to the forest and people of Ecuador. It is sad and shocking and fascinating and makes you want to go to the rainforest yourself and fight this. Please, read it. And then do something about it.

Hasta pronto!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Happy 4th of July!

And yes, that is a Declaration of Independence. That´s it: Stop the competition. We win. At life. Everyone else can go home and cry about it.

4th of July in Ecuador/Rio Bamba included: Gringos, Americans, Canadians, English, Volleyball, Hamburgers, Hot dogs, Potato Salad, Fireworks (so close we were peppered with falling debris), Hot Chocolate, Friends, and Love. Just as it should be.

Complete with Declaration of Independence.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Bra: Better Than a Purse

Sarah’s Ecuador Lesson #1: Yes You Can fit all of your cash, your credit card, your phone, and your ipod in your bra. It´s safer. And not at all awkward. Except when digging for cash.

Today at the feria I hefted the largest and heaviest zucchini I’ve ever seen in my hand and the first thought that popped into my head was: “I could kill a man with this zucchini.”

Maybe that’s a reflection on my mental state as of late.

I’ve been…not terrible, but surely slipping down the U-Curve, in the typical time of culture shock and adjustment and loneliness and homesickness. I know that it will pass, and I believe that I’m doing better than many would in my situation, in part because Spain toughened me up a lot, but it’s been stressful as of late. I got sick, again; it’s 5.5 months until I go home for Christmas and I miss my mom constantly; my community drives me crazy sometimes; local children harass me constantly to the point of literally screaming; and even those kids that I thought I was bonding with ended up stealing from me. I’d say that now I don’t trust them as far as I could throw them, but I could probably throw them pretty far, so I’m just going to flat out say it: I don’t trust them. I don’t trust anybody in my community. I feel so conspicuous, and when I try and organize something to help them, to do my job, nobody shows up. Plus, school is out for the summer so there goes over 50% of my work, and that also means more kids to pester me all day long. It’s just frustrating, and overwhelming, and I think, what can I really do to help these people? Can they really change? Do they really want to?

These are questions I know that almost every Peace Corps volunteer asks themselves at least once during their two years. I know that it is normal, and that it will pass; that I am experiencing culture shock and adjusting to a new way of life. But knowing this doesn’t make it any less hard.

Besides that, life has been a mixed bag. I had a fantastic time in Rio Bamba for my birthday, where we had pizza and beer on the floor one night and went out to bars and restaurants the next, and when the clock hit midnight and it was officially my birthday everyone sang to me and the waiter put a hat on my head and gave me free chocolate cake. Then that night, back in Patate with this wonderful family whose house I am writing this in right now, I had a home-baked cake with a candle and they sang to me in both Spanish and English. They are my saving grace here; I don’t know what I’d do without them.

Yesterday I went to Rio Bamba again for a Gender and Development (GAD) seminar. It was fun, and moderately informative, and best of all: free food at honestly the best restaurant I’ve eaten at in Ecuador. The whole trip was worth it just for the food. I got to hang out with a great group of people, and speak English, and overall it was a relaxing, amusing day.

Except…I found out that Ana, one of my friends, the girl I hung out with over my birthday and honestly one of the most charismatic people I’ve ever known, got sent home. Plus, three other people dropped out and headed back to the US. If you don’t count Russ (he didn’t go through training with us and really just does his own thing), then Omnibus 101 is down to 35 people. We’ve lost nine, several of them people that I truly considered friends.

Good news: Joyce is coming to visit next weekend, and I have an opportunity to do something for the fourth of July, which I don’t know if I’ll take, but it’s nice to know that the possibility is there. Later in July I’m going to Puyo, which will be my first taste of the Oriente. I’m eating cuy tomorrow with a group of high school students and Moderately Creepy Teacher, which should be fun despite the fact that Moderately Creepy Teacher is Moderately Creepy (he showed me shirtless vacation photos and kept pointing out his wife and reinforcing the fact that she is dead.)

Ecuador continues to amuse and amaze me. I’ve had a stranger tell me I should marry a local British man who I’ve never met and is probably vastly older than me because we both speak English and “No one should have to be alone.” I’ve seen a skinned cow hanging from a tree, complete with skin next to it, like something out of “Silence of the Lambs.” I’ve had an old woman invite herself to my house for lunch and then demand I kill her the chicken conveniently pecking around by my feet (I got out of it by pretending not to understand and walking quickly away). I was given guitar lessons by a group of nuns in their convent. I bought a cheap guitar, which promptly broke. I bought a ridiculously large, hand carved wooden turtle that will apparently bring me luck (but where will I fit it?). I bought a foam mat and started teaching myself yoga in my house. I got birthday presents in the mail in Ambato (NEWSWEEK makes me deliriously happy) and discovered by the post office the best empanadas of my life. I have HOT WATER in my shower. I went to a local fiesta and shuffle-danced with my landlord (and later got sick off the food). I bravely battled with large spiders and won. I’ve met new people and made new friends.

Overall, life is not perfect, but is it ever? In fact, it’s something better than perfect: it’s exciting, and new, and challenges me, and makes me think and change and grow. I appreciate being here, in Ecuador, in the Peace Corps, every day, even the bad ones. Underneath it all, I am a hopeless optimist. I think you have to be.

PS: This entry was for you, Ruben. Now stop pestering your wife. ;-) I love you guys.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Paranoia is a healthy belief that just might save your ass someday…

I wasn’t going to write again for at least a week or two but I wanted to talk about an incident that happened to me a few nights ago. Two incidents, actually.

To start off, Ecuadorians don’t understand or appreciate a good healthy dose of paranoia, especially in small towns or in the country. No matter how many times you explain to them why don’t want to walk alone at night (I’m a gringa, I’m a stranger, I have a clearly visible bag, I’m blonde, for God’s sake) or why you want more security/locks in your house (I’m a gringa, a stranger, wealthier than all of the people in this community combined, living alone with few neighbors in the middle of a field), they will shake their heads at you. Silly gringa, why are you worried. Nothing happens here. It is muy tranquilla.

If one more person says that I don’t have to worry because an area is muy tranquilla, y no pasa nada, I am going to strangle them.

Also, you have to understand, I am the most paranoid person I know. Not crazy, just with a fierce desire for nothing to ever happen to me that I could have prevented. I like feeling in control, and not placing myself in dangerous situations keeps me feeling safe. In Spain I missed out on fun nights because I refused to get in a car with a bunch of strange guys, or go home with strangers; in Pittsburgh I walked at night with mace and didn’t get into a car with a stranger even to go through a drive through at night when ordering on foot wasn’t allowed. In Ecuador I don’t walk alone at night, I carry my leatherman in my pocket so that I feel more secure, and I instinctively size up anyone I’m speaking to. I’m decently trained in martial arts and have taken an intense self defense class. I sleep with a knife under my bed. I take my security safely.

In Ecuador, this has even heightened. It is a machista culture, where men are men and women are good little subservient housewives, especially in the campo. American women are seen as easy, especially as they speak more openly with men. Men don’t look at you; they leer. Comments are made. You are the butt of jokes you are glad you don’t understand. I love Ecuador, but I could never date anyone from here. No offense. The culture is just too steeped in gender differences for me to take.

The people in my community are pretty tranquillo, hard working, and appear to be even keeled. Except on the weekends, when they drink. Last weekend, in the middle of the afternoon, I saw several men so drunk they were either passed our or weaving dangerously as they walked. I’ve seen people smashed, but nothing like I see here. Also, everyone goes to bed at 8:00 pm, except for the weekend drunks, who stay up a bit later. Even so, 11:00 is usually the latest, because even on weekends there are still animals to care for in the mornings and work to be done.

On Sunday night, a little after midnight, I was sound asleep in my bed when the pounding started on my front door. I jerked away, my hand instinctively going to the knife under my mattress, and just stayed very still. I figured that whoever it was would give up after a minute or two and leave me in peace.

Not so. Over half an hour passed of insistent pounding, and then I saw someone circling the house and shining a flashlight through the drawn curtains in my bedroom window. They circled the house, then began to hit the door again.

Here I should probably insert that my inside door to my bedroom still doesn’t have a knob or a lock on it, so if anyone gets through the front door, I have no protection.

Finally I got up, understanding that the person wasn’t going to go away. I was tired and it was pitch black in the house, but I didn’t want to draw any more attention by turning on a light. So I put my sneakers on in the dark, just in case, grabbed my knife, just in case, locked my drawer with all of my valuables in it, and shoved my phone into my bra with some money. Just in case. I then went to the window and yelled through it.

“Go away, I was sleeping, leave me alone,” I said, in kinda shitty Spanish. It was a drunk man on my doorstep, one I had never seen before.

“Let me in, I just want to sleep!” he yelled. “This is my house, I always sleep here. Don Victor (my landlord) knows this. I usually have a key. Let me in!”

“No!” I snapped. “Please, just go away and don’t bother me. I’m not opening this door.”

He kept arguing with me for a few more minutes, insisting that he often slept in my house and that I was being a bitch for not letting him in. He kept asking me, why not? At one point he asked if I were afraid, but I didn’t answer. I just finally shouted that I was leaving the window and the conversation was over.

Even though there was no noise after that, I was still so freaked out that I was shaking. I thought, what if he was telling the truth and that my landlord would just let this random man have a key to my house? I had visions of drunk man rounding up his friends and returning to my door. I didn’t sleep well all night, my leatherman clutched in my hand in case of any disturbance.

When I spoke to my landlord about this, he had no idea who the man was. He said that no one ever sleeps in this house except for a daughter and sometimes a young son. He said it could have been just a drunk or an attempted robbery. Or worse.

So here’s the moral of the story, what the Peace Corps will already tell you during training: Never open the door for anyone at night. Anyone. No matter what they say, no matter what their reasons. Do. Not. Open. Your. Door.

What could I have done differently? Called someone. Now I know that I can call my landlord no matter what time of night it is and he will come and chase off anyone bothering me. I can also contact my counterpart, who, if the situation is scary, can come here with or without the police. I should also have opened my conversation with the man by saying that either the landlord/police were on their way. That would have chased him off good. As it is, I just had a scary experience that left a bad taste in my mouth the entire next day.

The second incident came the next day. I was in Patate and had stayed too long at the internet café, and it was dark out. Because I was bringing some supplies to the local high school the next day, I had my huge hiking backpack on, marking me clearly as some kind of tourist. To get to the house where I stay, I have to walk to where the road ends and turns into this massive set of stairs that goes up quite a way, and isn’t well lit. I noticed a car slow as I entered the stair street, and then go away.

I am indeed paranoid, especially with a hugely noticeable giant bag on my back at night, and had my knife out and hidden in my sleeve. When I got to the top and started walking to the house, I noticed a car coming up. Luckily the house is right at the top of the stairs, and I opened the gates and stepped inside. As I was doing this, I noticed the car slow to a stop and idle by the side of the road, but as I got inside it sped off. All I could think was that someone had seen me walking up the stairs and driven around to intercept me, but I reached the house before anything could be done. Paranoid? Yes. Possible? Definitely. I made myself and attractive target that night.

Moral? Be inside at night, no matter how tranquilla your town is, and if not, have someone walk with you. You never know what might happen.

These are my stories, and while they are not terribly thrilling, they made an impression on me, and I hope I can make an impression on whoever is reading this. You don’t have to be as paranoid as me, but for God’s sake, take care. Be alert. The last thing you want is for your Peace Corps adventure to end with bad memories, a robbery, or worse.

Really the moral is, don’t be stupid. And carry a knife.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Home, home on the range

I have a house! And it’s a-freaking-dorable. Honestly, I love it. It’s a little casa de bono, meaning that it was built recently by the government (for the longest time I thought that it was called a casa de abono, meaning fertilizer… like a storage house where they would store the cow poo or something.) It’s not leaky, moldy, smelly, or cold, and has cement floors, a luxury.

It’s painted blue inside and has a little indoor bathroom with a shower, and the kitchen has a nice sink, the little fridge I bought, a plastic table donated by the Red Cross with a bright tablecloth, and gas burners where I can cook and use my campo oven. The campo oven, which is really just a big pot you put over the burners with empty tuna cans inside to rest your baking dish on, works fantastically, just like a real oven. I’ve already made little brownie-cookie things, carrot cake, and roast chicken. I hung my Otavalo hammock from the ceiling in place of a couch, and it’s nice to lie in during the evenings.

I have a comfy bed and a nice dresser in my room, an area to wash my clothes outside, and a stray dog that eats my scraps and wiggles happily whenever he sees me. Though he is not my dog, I’ve still taken the liberty and named him Tilney, continuing with my habit of using last names of Jane Austen characters for animals.

So, what else is new? I’m turning twenty three in eight days (as I write this Saturday night), on June 7th, and I’m going to Rio Bamba for the weekend to celebrate. Around other Americans! Though my time so far at my site has been great, I look forward to speaking some English and feeling, well, like a twenty three year old again. I miss that. After that, on the 10th, I’m going with my sort of adopted family in Patate to the big soccer match in Quito, Ecuador vs. Argentina. I’m thrilled. That was something I always regretted from Spain: that I didn’t get to see a big game in a country wild about soccer.

My work has been going well, though we’re still in the planning stages for many things. There are so many possibilities right now it will be exciting to see, in the end, which ones we actually end up doing. I’m starting the big organic garden with the local high school and also helping to plan an environment “open house” for June 5th at an elementary school in Patate. School lets out in about two weeks, though, so both of my projects will soon be put on hold.

I’ve started my CAT tools…barely. One interview so far, and hopefully more the week after next. The good news is that my community is so small that the interviews shouldn’t take long, not like people who live in towns or cities, who could have 100 families to talk to. I’ll have maybe around 20.

The Red Cross is thinking of starting projects to create large community organic gardens to help get some good food into the people around Patate, my community included. They are also thinking of treating the water to make it safer to drink, and implementing nutrition and alcoholism programs. There is a married couple (a gringa and an Ecuadorian) who live near here and might help me give charlas and possibly implement some form of garbage collection, so the people stop burning all their trash. And there is a pair of nuns who come to my village every Sunday to speak with the children, and I’m hoping that they will be interested in giving talks with me. And I haven’t even spoken yet to the local elementary school near my community, which will also be letting out for the summer soon. There are so many options right now, it’s a little hard to keep track of them all.

I joined a soccer team!...sort of. I don’t know how I ended up in it, but suddenly I was on the court and told to meet some women in my community the next day to travel to another town to play some “indoor”, aka soccer on a cement basketball court with a smaller ball. I sucked, naturally, and everyone laughed at the tall, awkward gringa playing futbol, but it was definitely an integration process. Hopefully I’ll play better this week.

I’ve been writing more lately. It feels good to get back to that part of myself after so long a break, to sink comfortably back into those worlds of my creation. I promised myself that I would finish up my online story first, for the people who have been sitting through it these three long years, but then I’ll finally be able to turn back to my baby, my book, and finish rewriting/revising it. I have a photocopy of the fantastic picture Nicky drew for me on the wall in my room, and I look at it whenever I’m feeling stressed. It feels so wonderfully ironic to be writing that story when I’m in the Peace Corps, like a clash of ideals. My beautiful characters, for all of their insanity, keep me sane.

I should probably stop now, this entry has been long enough. But I wanted to end by saying a huge thank you to Laurie, who left me a beautiful message at the end of my last post. I guess my reverse psychology worked, lol. Honestly, though, if you’re reading this, you made my day. I even read what you wrote out loud to my mom over Skype. I love to think that people are reading this and smiling, and that in some small way, my story is touching someone else out there.

I’ll write again after my birthday! V excited.

Love, Sarah

The best literature for a bored PCV...

I have discovered the secret to being entertained when alone at your site, without internet access, TV, or friends. Sure you can read a book, but we PCV’s usually only have limited supplies of books, so if you read all the time, you would run out, and pretty quickly too (especially if you’re like Ecuador and have no volunteer library at headquarters because someone threw them all out, claiming they were taking up too much space.) All you need is a laptop (most of you have those, right?), and a flash drive.

What is the secret to hours of free reading pleasure? Fanfiction.

Yes, fanfiction. Probably all of you who are not giant nerds like myself don’t know what that is. Fanfiction is when someone takes a preexisting story, like a book or a movie or a television show, and expands on it, turning it into a sort of online book and posting it to a website. Yes, it’s nerdy, I know. I write it (and am pretty popular, too, in my chosen fandom), so of course I know. But think about it for when you are bored. Have a favorite book or tv show where you reallllyyyy wanted two characters to hook up but never did? I’m sure you’ll find many stories online about that, no matter how obscure the pairing. Favorite character died and you wish that hadn’t happened? Alternate realities where they live, happily or not so happily ever after, exist in droves. Really hate a character and want them to die? There’s that too. Or maybe your favorite series ended or your favorite book didn’t wrap things up the way you wanted, and you wished it could have gone on a little longer. Fanfiction!

Now I have to be responsible and warn you all: Most of what is out there is utter crap. Serious, steaming piles of poo. Just awful. And there’s porn, too. Lots of it. Oddly enough, there’s a thriving amount of gay porn in the Harry Potter sections. Good news is, you can often sort by rating, from K, which is good for all ages, all the way up to M, mature. On sites like fanfiction.net, the largest (and it is HUGE) listing of all the fanfiction you could ever want, you can even sort by character, pairing, length, and published date. It’s fun. And if you look, and sometimes it takes a little looking, you can find real gems. I have read fanfictions that far surpass most published books I have ever read, that made me laugh out loud and cry, sob actually, or gasp at my computer screen. Some talented authors can take the most trivial, stupid stories (like, children’s anime, or bad 80s movies) and somehow turn them into the most breathtaking works of near-genius. There are also smaller communities where stories are screened for quality before they are allowed to post, so no crap there.

So what do you do? Take a flash drive with you when you go to the internet café, go to fanfiction.net, and start looking up stories. When you find one that’s decently long and the first chapter looks pretty good (proper punctuation, people in character, not too much purple prose or Mary-Suing, though you probably don’t know what that is…) copy and paste the chapters onto Word. It takes only a few minutes. It took me years to figure out that if I highlighted the top of the story, then went to the bottom, held shift, and clicked on the end of the story, the whole thing would highlight for me. Pretty simple, but I’m kinda absentminded sometimes, and spent years highlighting and scrolling through ridiculously long chapters to copy it. This way is a lot faster.

With about fifteen minutes of copy-pasting onto a word document, you’ve got hours upon hours of reading pleasure, and there are more genres and more stories out there than you could ever read. It never runs out, and damn, is it fun. After a while you might want to stave off boredom by trying your hand at writing one. I tell you, there is nothing more fulfilling than posting a chapter and having loyal readers rejoice that you have returned after a six month absence (ahem, I’m not that frequent of a poster), or compliment you on your story, or even offer constructive criticism. It’s fun, and it’s a great stress reliever. I’m finishing up a chapter towards the end of a book-length story now, and am looking forward to posting once again.

So get to it!

Friday, May 15, 2009

My kingdom for a HOUSE

I miss you, as I miss the little moments,
sipping tea on the couch with the TV on.
I see you, like the photos in my fingers,
as I´m standing here alone and the whole world feels wrong.

Yes, I still write songs. It´s a nice stress reliever.

I’m writing outside of the house I am staying at, my feet in the sun and a light breeze blowing by. Three cats in varying shades of white and grey, one pregnant (and hopefully I will get one of the kittens when it comes), sleep on top of each other in a heap at my feet. Flowers are in bloom all around me, the air smells sweet, and it is a bright blue sky day in the Sierra.

I’m writing this here, instead of at my village twenty minutes away, because after two solid weeks my house is still not finished. It was supposed to be finished when I got here, but it still has only some of its lights, no door, and is filled with various junk. Truth be told, it’s starting to piss me off just a bit. Luckily the family that I am staying with (the same I stayed with during my site visit) are amazing, feeding me good food and talking with me and just in general being awesome.

We are all fed up with my housing situation, and so on Saturday there will be a Red Cross minga at my house, to clean, install lights, and do whatever needs to be done. We might even put the damn door in. Then Saturday night I am supposed to meet with the town to explain who I am and why I am here; this was supposed to happen twice already, but both times no one showed. Let’s see if Saturday is any different.

With the notable exception of the no-house business, everything has been going surprisingly smoothly, and I have been very content and happy settling into my new life in Tungurahua. The weather is perfect, sunny and mild most days, much better than often-frigid Cayambe. Since I can’t work on my PACA and CAT tools due to the fact that my community is too far away/too expensive to commute to daily, I’ve been getting my other ducks in row. I’ve already been approached by several farmers with questions about going organic, and have seen some of their farms. I’ve met the (fantastic) Red Cross volunteers, a group of mostly young men and some women with whom I will be working for the next two years. We are already discussing plans for the future, including a possible youth camp for two weeks at the end of June, when school lets out.

I’ve also had meetings with a local agricultural high school and a local elementary school. At the moment the plan is to give a full day to the ag high school once every two weeks to work with the students and create a large example organic garden that will showcase all of the various techniques for the community to see (including different types of compost, both liquid and solid, different types of irrigation, companion planting, crop diversity, organic pesticides, tire-gardens, and more). At the escuela I’m all set to give my mornings one day a week to work with younger students on who knows what: hopefully nutrition and maybe a family garden of their own. I think that’s pretty good for my first two weeks, especially without a house and in the midst of buying everything I need for the house, including a fridge, a bed (donated by the Red Cross!), a dresser, and many cooking supplies.

Swearing in was fun, with the ceremony at the Ambassador’s mansion in the early morning, the chilly mist around us and planes roaring ahead every five minutes. That night was the big party, and earlier in the week we had gone to the old part of Quito for a pitifully short cultural trip. However, we did see the newly re-elected president of Ecuador, Correa, the day after the big elections, which was damn exciting. He drove slowly by, hanging out of the front window and waving. I hear that he even shouted to some of us (“Where are you from?” to which people enthusiastically yelled, “Estados Unidos!”), but I didn’t hear that part.

The sad news is that now five of our group are gone, some of their own free will, some wrenched away. At our hostel in Quito, I happened to room with two girls who left, one because she felt the work didn’t suit her, and one because of frustrating beaurocratic reasons. By the end of our stay in the hostel, I went from having two roommates to having none.

So here I am, a real volunteer, just starting off my two years with a little trepidation and a lot of optimism. I just feel so lucky, every day, to be in Ecuador. The people are amazing, the culture different and alternately trying and wonderful, the work intimidating but I think I can figure it all out; if not I have a back-up system of over 100 volunteers all throughout the country. I already feel like I’m getting somewhere—even if my community takes a long time to trust me, I still have my Red Cross work and my charlas at various schools to give. I realized the other day that at least once a day, at least a little and often much more, I have been happy here, and that’s really saying something. I am so blessed, it’s almost scary sometimes.

And Oh! I have an address now. It’s in Ambato, so I’ll probably only be able to check it once or twice a month, but please, anyone out there, even people I don’t know, if you want to send my letters, I will love you forever. Nothing beats the excitement of opening a mailbox to find letters/packages from friends and family far away.

The address is:
Sarah Evans
Casilla 18-01-175
Ambato, Tungurahua
Ecuador
South America

If you send a package, make sure that it is under four pounds, preferably in a padded envelop, and completely wrapped in clear tape to discourage thieves. Also never, ever declare a value. Thanks.

Another Oh! moment: My Gill, my best friend since we were six and practically my sister, is getting married sometime within the next two years, so that means I’m a’comin’ home twice! Lil’ extra money I’ll have to scrape up, but it will be worth it to see her walk down the aisle.

So that’s life in Tungurahua, Ecuador. I’d ask how everything is going in the US, but no one ever seems to answer my entreaties for comments and love, so I’ll just skip it this time. Or maybe I’m using reverse psychology…

Chaito!

Friday, April 24, 2009

The world is a mess and I just need to RULE it




I’m going to try and make this a quick post, as so much has been happening. The big events were MY SITE VISIT and THE TECH TRIP, two viages that could not have been more different.



My site is one of the more difficult ones. Ag got all of those; NRC has the tourism, working in caves and on the beach whalewatching kind of sites. Mine is a community way up on the side of a mountain of about 100 people, but about 60 of those people are children under the age of 12 or ancient people with no teeth. It’s small. There are no stores, no bakeries, no nothing. Just a collection of dirty, dirty houses and even dirtier children that go to the bathroom in the grass with the animals.



I can’t really get into it here but let’s just say that some stressful situations occurred during my trip, the upshot being that I may or may not have saved a kid’s leg, or his life. The may not is because later I found out that the hospital the mother was saying she couldn’t afford to take her extremely ill child to is actually free, and she knows it. She was just trying to get money off of me. Imagine how I feel right now about this being my site.



Truth be told, I don’t know how I feel. For a while after my site visit I was very depressed, and convinced I got one of the shittiest sites. But now I’m not so sure. I have a darling little house to live in (and not with a host family, thank god, just with my landlord’s daughter), and an amazing view in what I am convinced is one of the most beautiful places in the sierra. My counterpart, a doctor for the Red Cross, is fantastic. Patate, the city that I live near, is adorable. I’m close to Ambato, Rio Bamba, and not even too far from Puyo in the Oriente. And being that I’m the first volunteer and that the town is so terribly poor and uneducated, there is a lot I can do to help, as long as the people accept me and try to change. I already have a list an entire page long of possible projects. As Russ, the older man in our group who has been volunteering continuously for over twenty years, said: “You’re the one they will remember, the one they will forever compare all the future volunteers to.” So…we’ll see.



The tech trip, for those of you not in the know, is an eight day (it used to be longer) trip around Ecuador to learn technical information that you can use at your site. We spent the first three days in Puerto Quito, in the coastal jungle, swimming in a pool and a river, sleeping in bunk beds and hammocks, hacking with machetes in the jungle, playing soccer, having yoga lessons, dancing at night, and just generally having a blast. In between all of this we had classes during the day, where it was stifling hot and a million insects bit us.



After that we split into three groups, depending on where our sites were: Sierra, Coast, or Oriente. The Sierras went to Rio Bamba and SOME PEOPLE (The NRCers) got to hold baby llamas and sled down a snowy mountain. The aggies went to a farm and got to sit on top of a zebra cow. Seriously. Zebra Cow. Tell your friends.


Then we went to a small mountain town called Salinas, and if you ever feel like getting a piece of Ecuadorian culture without all the tourists and with amazing chocolate and cheeses, go there. They have a million micro-enterprises and we bought so much food and wool products it’s a little ridiculous. We also hiked to some amazing views and to a waterfall, where some brave people (not me) went swimming in the hypothermia-inducing waters.



Today was our last day of class and we spent half of it playing sports with special sport outfits the groups made (our’s was the coolest, naturally). Tomorrow is our last full day in Ayora/Cayambe, and then on Sunday we go to Quito for a few days before the massive swearing in ceremony on Wednesday. I’m so excited. Afterwards we’re going to a big club where we’ll have special handstamps and an entire floor for ourselves and other volunteers. I’m almost a real PCV!



Sunday we’re on lockdown, formally called standfast, and can’t leave the hotel because of the big presidential elections, just in case of any upset or protests. The elections are huge here, propaganda everywhere, and I should really take a picture of it before it all disappears.



Thursday is the day: Moving to my site, the tiny village where I will live for the next two years. And that’s where the adventure really begins.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

A moment of silence

On another note, please pray for the family and friends of Kate, a Peace Corps Volunteer in Benin who was recently killed. She is in the thoughts and prayers of all of the Peace Corps volunteers around the world. She is remembered, even by the people who didn't know her.

We are a world wide family in the Peace Corps, and we should never have to mourn the loss of one our own.

Say it with me: Tungurahua!















I don’t see any comments, dears. I’m disappointed in you. But I love you anyway.


It’s raining, again. In fact, it’s been more or less continuously raining these past few weeks. However, where MY SITE IS it’s not supposed to rain as much. Actually, the weather is supposed to be rather lovely, warmer in the day than it is here (it’s about 600 meters lower, at an elevation of around 2, 450 meters) and cool at night. PLUS I’m the nearest volunteer to Ecuador’s most active volcano, though I’m not allowed to go to Banos, the city right under the volcano, because of it. I’ll probably use that face mask once or twice, though, for the ash.
Ready? Alright. I’ll be spending the next two years of my life in the province of Tungurahua, in a disperse community of about 100 people that I can’t name but is about 45 minutes south of Ambato, a nice big city where I can buy anything I need. According to Lonely Planet, I should be able to see the active volcano Tungurahua from my town. I’m in the Sierra, people! No big ol’ spiders or malaria medication for me.





I’ll be working with the Red Cross to help teach about nutrition and family gardens. I’ll also be (hopefully) helping to create an irrigation system, working with organic fertilizers, and maybe raising small animals such as cuy or chickens. It’s exactly what I want to do, and while it’s scary to be the first ever volunteer at my site, it’s nice to know that I have the Red Cross to work with and give me some stability and supervision.





Overall, I’m extremely happy, but nervous. Tomorrow I leave for my site visit, and I’ll meet up with my counterpart, a doctor who works for the Red Cross. I hope that they take me seriously, youth and blonde hair and bad Spanish included. I hope that this all goes smoothly, and this site turns out to be the right one for me. I’m ten times happier here than I ever was in Spain, and I hope that things keep going as they are, and that everything falls into place.





The days this past week have been pretty chill, except for my computer getting a virus that was causing it to crash and me spending hours at an internet café trying to download antivirus software (as mine conveniently decided to stop working.) I think (think) that everything’s ok now.





Last weekend I went with my friend Gloria to an indigenous sun celebration of the equinox in Cayambe. It was really such a unique experience. We (the crowd) were cleansed by the shaman by having water blown over us, smoke wafted on us, and a rose dipped in water pressed to our foreheads, like a blessing. It was ancient and spiritual and honestly, the kind of tradition and belief system that I love because of its roots and because of its thankfulness to this earth. It calls to our ancestors who worshipped the earth and sun and sky, whether they were shamans in South America or druids in England and Scotland, where I am from. There is a feeling of connection to the past that is just beautiful.





Yesterday the Ag group went back to a farm that we had been to once before, to learn about small animals. We learned how to castrate a cuy (not as bad as you’d think, though the cuy sure wasn’t happy about it), and how to vaccinate baby chickens with drops in their eyes. There are several great pictures of us chasing half-grown chickens, grabbing them, and holding them up to get the eye drops. Those little birds can run, especially when they were all outside and it started to rain (and hail, big ol’ serious hail), and we had to grab them and chuck them into the coop, which they kept trying to escape from. I swear, it was like The Great Escape, chicken style, though not like that weird claymation movie.





At the end of the day, one of the other girls, a facilitator, and I stayed behind to get some fresh produce from him. We stayed for over an hour, talking, eating fresh picked strawberries and getting some amazing lettuce, carrots, beets and beet greens (mmm), elderberry flowers for tea, and more. In the end, despite the fact that his organic farm usual charges more than the average supermarket produce, he tried to give it to us for free. It was a great feeling, this hard working man who struggles to find clients and expand his farm, to do the right thing by growing completely organically, to offer us this as a gift, especially in a country where you are told repeatedly how people will rob you or will charge you a much higher price for goods because you are white. We of course forced money on him, and probably more than the food was worth, but it was our way of saying, thank you for your time and talking us and being so generous.





Alright, I’m running out of time, and I still have to talk to my mommy via skype, post all my photos, finish packing, help cook dinner (with my fresh veggies, to add some kind of vegetables into the diet of my host family), and go over everything I have to have/know for tomorrow. It’s going to be a busy week.





Love to you all,





Sarah

Friday, March 20, 2009


Here, have a photo! That's me in the brown and the hat on the left, hoeing away, at one of the farms we visited. I stole this photo off of Rosa's camera.


I’m writing this in my room, with the rain pounding overhead in a soothing rhythm. It’s been raining a lot lately, so hard that in class yesterday that the sound was too loud to hear anyone speak. I like the rain, but the bad news is I washed some of my clothing four days ago and it’s still wet. Sopping wet. I don’t know how on earth anything dries around here.


So so SO much has been going on, I don’t even know where to begin.


Oh! I finally ate cuy (guinea pig) last night. I have a great photo of it, cooked head and all, but it’s on my camera and I still don’t have the stuff I need to get the photos off of it. It’s really good! I enjoyed it, though it was weird to gnaw on something that still looked like an animal, paws and all.


Last weekend we went on a “cultural trip” to Cotacachi, the “leather making capital of the world.” It has some beautiful stuff for very cheap, but being a Peace Corps Trainee I don’t really need a gorgeous leather bag or high boots. But I did buy a scarf and a big leather bracelet with a sun on it. I know, not exciting to read about, but I’m excited about it. And awe man, some neat stuff happened but I can’t really write about it, so call me. I have a phone now! Ask, amigas, and I’ll give the number.


Note: Go to callingcards.com and you can call me for very cheap. Think about it. I can’t call any of you, my phone doesn’t make international calls, but I can receive them for free.
While in Cotacachi, we visited the site of a volunteer, and her house was nice. I mean Peace Corps-nice, obviously, not normal-nice. She said that it’s an unusually nice house, cement floor, sagging roof, and outside bathroom included. Her garden was beautiful, and it made me excited to start my own.


While in Cotacachi I had a sore throat, which continued into Sunday, but I decided to go on a hike to some mythical hot springs anyway with the people from two different towns. I say mythical because we never found them. It was still a fantastic day, hiking through forests, across a large stream (where I fell in, soaking my sneakers and pants), and up a mountain. I mean UP A MOUNTAIN. All together we walked six and a half hours, and three and a half of those were straight up. The whole time this scrappy little dog named Lassie followed right by our sides. I was dead by the time we stopped; I’ve never exercised that hard in my life. We started at a point where we were sweating in t-shirts, and after 3.5 hours were above the clouds, to a point where it was freezing cold and I was bundled up in my winter hat. When we were up there, past any road or path, just in wilderness, the ground dropped away so sharply right beyond where we were walking into the clouds of a valley. Don’t worry, we were safe; it was mostly the beautiful illusion of loneliness up there, only a few minutes walk from farmer’s fields. Eventually we gave up on finding the hot springs and went back down again. It was AWESOME, even as I was gasping pathetically for breath. I love the people in my group; they cheered me on every step of the way.


Needless to say, my sore throat turned into an irritating, but not too terrible, cold that is still lingering. The continuous rain and cold isn’t helping much, either, and for several days after the hike my legs were very unhappy when walking.


This week we went to Rosa’s (our facilitator) house to cook Ecuadorian food. Mmm, empanadas with cheese and crispy chifles, and more. Cooking is such a bonding experience, everyone helping everyone else; everyone crowded together working with the smells of food and the sound of Spanish music hanging in the air. It was pretty damn impressive, and we all ate our fill. I had even haggled with the woman selling the bananas, and brought her price down over a dollar. Hell no, I’m not paying the gringa price! My Spanish is worlds better than it was three weeks ago.


That day was Saint Patty’s day, and after cooking our delicious food we all made our way back to Cayambe to meet with other trainees for some green beer.


The day before, in the same town, we had inadvertently caught an annual parade that the local elementary school was putting on to celebrate the creation of the school. Tons of little kids in elaborate costumes dancing, with music blaring out of speakers roped to the back of pick-up trucks. It was a total immersion into the culture, and I felt very privileged to be able to see such a thing that usually only the people in this small town in Ecuador get to see.


On a final note: Yesterday we played a quick game of “rock, paper, scissors” to get everyone’s energy level up after a long day of sitting. It was played with the 45 of us, and everyone had to play with someone, and whoever lost, the other person became their “fan”, cheering them on. If they had fans, once you beat them, their fans became yours. In the end there were only two of us left, so I had over twenty people behind me chanting “Sarah! Sarah! Sarah!” as I battle rock-paper-scissors to the death. I lost, but it was surprisingly thrilling, and a great boost of energy.


I find out my site in four days. I’m so excited I can’t even express it. Next time I post, I’ll know where I’m going to spend the next two years of my life. It’s a wonderful thought.


Now I open it to you, friends and family: How are you? What are you all up to during my absence? Tell me! I’m serious about this. You read, you tell. That’s the deal.


Love, Sarah

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mas! Mas!


More things happening!


-We have a garden! -----> That's me kneeling in the dirt. I stole the photo from Sarah's blog, as my camera still doesn't have the right parts...hopefully they will come in a week.


-When I was sick, my host mom rubbed an egg all over me and then had me spit on it three times. It's a shamanism thing, that the egg absorbs all of your bad energy. Apparently I got sick because I went to a graveyard on my first day and I was a stranger, so a bad spirit followed me home and made me sick. Sometimes they rub really sick people with a guinea pig and then kill it afterwards and rub its blood on the part of the body that hurts. You know, the wierd thing is, I did feel better afterwards, maybe it was the stimulation of the nerves.


-There have been two farm trips to learn about composting, the joys of shoveling manure, planting veggies, ect. At one, we watched a cuy(guinea pig) be killed...they crushed its little skull in, I couldn't watch. At the other we ate amazing lasagne and played with an adorable puppy.


- I went to the pool with my host family! It was at this beautiful place owned by my host dad's sister, with a nice pool, lots of mandarin, lemon, and lime trees, which we picked from, and a zip line high above the ground, which I rode. I almost got to ride a horse but they couldn't find the saddle. I'll post photos when I get my camera parts from home. We also drove by a huge lake and ate some strange fruit and fried bread.


-When we drive through the mountains, we are literally in the clouds sometimes. The ground just drops away beneath you. It's so, so beautiful.
-I learned how to wash my clothes on a big flat slab outside with cold water, rubbing it into the stone. It's seriously hard work, and it took me two hours to do a few articles of clothing. I've already ripped a pair of PJ pants doing it.


-We've been working a lot in our classes, and in less than two weeks we find out our sites. So much has been going on that I can't even remember it offhand. I've been filling up my journal at an alarming rate. Tomorrow we go on another field trip, so there will be more to write about.
Hasta luego!

What was happening a week and a half ago

Ready for the longest entry EVER?

I am writing this in my bed at my host family’s house, in my pajamas at 1:00 in the afternoon on Wednesday, a week after I arrived. As predicted, (and no one is less happy than me that this predication came true), I became horribly, disgustingly sick a few days ago, and haven’t left my bed since. Two days of missed classes when we already only have nine weeks…that’s what really brings me down.

But it’s nearly over now, and if it had to happen, at least it happened and is over with. Besides the days of vomiting, Ecuador has been amazing. I am honestly loving it here. I think I am a good fit for the Latin American mentality; they are very open, and generous with their affections, and I appreciate that, much more so than the “don’t look strangers in the eye or smile” mentality of PA.

Right now I am listening to the roosters crowing outside my window, and let me tell you, whoever said that roosters crow only in the morning was a horrible liar. They crow ALL DAY. Morning, afternoon, night, middle of the night. Earlier today I could hear the pigs squealing, not really so much a squeal but the twisted shriek of demented children. I’ve realized that I am slightly afraid of pigs, from their beady black eyes to their impressive size, horrible squeals, and the disturbing memory of Orwell’s “Animal Farm” popping into my head every time I see them. But I get ahead of myself. Let’s go back to the beginning.

The night I arrived in Quito it was lightly raining, warm and lush. On the bus ride to the hostel I sat with my head half out the open window in the rain, listening to the chatter of people around me, hardly able to believe that I am in Ecuador. I still can barely believe it.

Everyone is my group, Omnibus 101, is amazing. It’s a unique situation where you can look at a group of 45 people and there is not one person that you think is a jerk, or standoffish, or something disagreeable. But everyone seems very open and friendly, and just…good. Good people. The kind of people you would expect to join the Peace Corps, right?

When we arrived at the hostel there was a huge group of volunteers waiting, and they clapped and whooped and shook the bus, handing us roses as we disembarked, throwing flower petals into the air and singing some Peace Corps song that I have yet to learn. My rose had a strip of paper tied to it that said, “don’t worry, be happy!”

My days in Quito were fun: trying a different fruit juice every day, most of which I had never heard of (anyone who has been to Ecuador will tell you that tomate de arbol, aka tree tomato and not really a tomato, is the big thing here); drinking wine out of the box with the other trainees as we sat in the communal space of the hostel, a central villa-like area open to the stars, and played card games and laughed; going to Mitad el Mundo, the center of the earth, and standing on the equator line, the real equator line (as opposed to the fake one that everyone had been going to for years.) At Mitad el Mundo we also tried all of this fruit that I had never heard of, most with seedy, pulpy insides that were either sour or sweet like candy, and included a lemon that was the size of my head.

My community is about one hour as the bird flies from Quito, but driving time is actually more like two. I’m lucky in that it’s the community where everyone meets for technical training (which I haven’t been to yet because of being ill), so I don’t have to travel two days a week like many people do. Some have to ride on a bus for forty minutes each way! I don’t know if I am allowed to say the name of my community; in fact as of this moment I still have to clear this journal before I can post this entry, but it’s near Cayambe. In fact, during my first two days here I went to Cayambe three times with my host family.

My experience in my community began with a funeral. My host mother’s brother had just died, so I was dropped off at the house and had about five minutes before I was whisked away to the church for the tail end of the ceremony; then to the cemetery, where my host mother cried and I awkwardly patted her back, feeling far too tall and white to be standing with this community during their time of mourning; then to a communal area where I helped pass out soup and later plates of food that everyone ate with their hands. I did too, without even washing them first! (gasp!) I’m changing already. I must have looked so strange, this tall blonde gringa passing out food to over a hundred people after a funeral.

Honestly, I stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone here is beautiful, most of the time shorter than I am by about a head, slim with beautiful dark mestizo skin, black hair, and a certain proud, ancient curve to their faces. There are many indigenous in the community too, who wear their calf length skirts with knee socks, flat shoes, shining jewelry and small hats with a feather sticking out of the top. Sometimes there is a baby strapped with a loop of material around their backs, and their hair is long, often braided. They have the strong noses of royalty.

My host family is wonderful. It is a mother and a father and a two-year-old son who can say only Mami, Papi, agua, and moooo (to the skinny cows that linger on the sides of the streets along with the stray dogs). My host mom is amazing, taking care of me when I was sick, even spoon feeding me soup when I could barely eat, and being wonderful even when I accidentally dropped and broke a cup in a half-delirious stupor.

Across a small park lives the rest of the family, where they spend half of their time: grandparents, nieces and nephews, and more. I’m not sure how many actually live in that house or just spend a lot of time there. The grandmother (and pretty much everyone else) keeps trying to push food on me, saying that I need to be más gordita. Putting on weight is a good thing here, it means that you are comfortable and happy, but I still don’t want the “Peace Corps 20” to happen to me. I’m just pleased that they don’t already think that I am gorda.

There are two little girls, one ten and one five, who are just adorable. The ten year old is pretty shy and doesn’t say much, but the five year old prances around me like I am her favorite toy and constantly wants to play a game where I pretend that I can’t find her even though she is standing right behind me. No one in the family speaks any English. I get along, barely, though I’m realizing that my Spanish is a lot worse than I thought it was.

The family works regular jobs but also has a business that makes cheese, yogurt, and raises pigs for slaughter. On my first night here we went to feed the pigs…damn those beady black eyes! They looked like they would eat me if they could.

My host family also has a truck, which not everyone has, so quite often they pile far more people into it than were ever meant to fit and drive them somewhere: across town, or to Cayambe. There is such a sense of community here, everyone helping everyone else, whole families walking with their arms around each other, young lovers embracing openly in the supermarket, children everywhere, more kids than I have ever seen.

And I didn’t even mention how high we are! I’ve never been to such a high elevation. My first night in Quito I could barely sleep due to a strange pressure in my sinuses that felt like it was trying to pop my eyes out of my head, and even now I feel exhausted after walking just a little uphill. I try to breathe in deep but I still don’t feel like I’m getting enough oxygen. We are high enough that even on the equator I sleep sometimes with long underwear under pajama pants, and two sweaters. During the day the temperature can change from hot to pretty damn freezing depending on whether or not the sun is out. I’ve been loading up on sun block like a crazy person, even on cloudy days, the result being that after a full day out I was one of the only ones in the group not burned.

The Cayambe volcano rises over the town, only visible from certain areas, huge and covered with snow; my mouth literally dropped when I first saw it. Despite being high in the mountains, we are still surrounded by more mountains on every side, and the light in the afternoon is different here, whiter and more shining, and to borrow a phrase from Lost, like it scatters differently. The sky seems close enough to touch; at times this is almost disconcerting, like you’ve stepping into one of those paintings of God opening up the heavens.

Aw, I just tried to be serious about it, but after writing those words all I can see is that scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “Stop groveling!” “Yes, my Lord.”

I’ve been writing for an hour. It’s easy to write embarrassingly long entries when you are sick and can’t sleep. If you’ve gotten this far, congratulations.

So I guess it’s time to say goodbye for now. I still feel pretty sick, but at least I don’t feel like I am going to vomit again. I don’t know what else I will do today; probably sleep, maybe watch some more Battlestar Galactica on my laptop. (I’ve turned into one of those people who says Frak! all the time, though only when I’m alone.)

I’ve only been in Ecuador for one week and already it’s had this much influence on me. I’m feeling the beginning of a love affair with this country. I can’t wait to have classes, find out my final site, swear in as a real volunteer, and start farming. I hope that this feeling I have about the next two years is right. I pray that it is.

I miss you all, my wonderful family and friends. I appreciate you more than ever. You are my happiness, and damned if I don’t love you with every fiber of my being. Being far away doesn’t change that; nothing ever will.

-Wednesday, March 4, 2009.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ecuador!

This won´t be a long post, as I apparently need to clear this journal with the head honcho before posting too much more, but I wanted to write and say that I am in Ecuador safe and sound, everyone in my Omnibus is fantastic so far, and I´ve just been having a great time.

I´ll post more when I´m sure that I´m not breaking a rule by doing so.

Love to my stinkbutt sister and mom and dad. When I get my cell phone, you´ll be able to call me from skype on it. It´ll be free for me (not like American cell phone plans), and only 2 cents a minute for you. All right!

Dinner is soon, and mom isn´t answering her skype, so there´s not much need to be on the internet. Talk to you soon!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Mail

I'm in Baltimore now, sitting on my sister's bed while her two great dobermans roam around me, and I thought I would finally post my initial address for those of you who have been bugging me for it.

Until I have a permanent site, my address is the Peace Corps Ecuador's post office box at:

My name, PCT
Cuerpo de Paz
Casilla 17-08-8624
Quito, Ecuador
South America

No packages! Nothing over 4 pounds! Letters I will always welcome.

See you on the equator!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

You can't go home again

Tonight is my last night at home. We spent the day packing, cramming my mountains of stuff into two bags, then taking it all out in a fruitless search for a bikini top, and cramming it all in again. Somehow, despite the fact that I've pared down my items as much as I possibly can, it's still barely fitting. Oh, it'll fit, but it's fighting for freedom every moment in the bag.

I am under the weight limit, though, and most of weight/extra crap is...books. Too many books, but I refuse to leave any of them at home. I even went out and bought two more (an autobiography of a US spy in the middle east, and a Doctor Who novelization because I am a nerd) to add to my Catcher in the Rye, Geography of Bliss, Short History of Nearly Everything (best book in the universe), Cosmos, I Know How the Caged Bird Sings, All Things Bright and Beautiful, two handmade (not by me) journals, a knitting manual, a book on how to play the guitar, and one or two others I can't remember. Then there's also all of the notes and notebooks full of information on my book, and my Mr. Winkle calender.

Right now I'm sitting at the table in the kitchen, with my mom pulling the juice from the big fat juicy amazing turkey that the centerpiece of my final meal. We're having mashed potatoes and gravy, butternut squash, rutabaga, fresh green beans, oh dear I'm so hungry now. A tivoed Sunday morning is playing on the television, my dog is lying curled up on the floor, the fire is going and the cold February wind is blowing outside. The sky is muted shades of blue, purple, and orange, and clumps of today's show shower cling to the ground.

My mom just came up and gave me a kiss with a tear in her eye. We've all been fighting tears(not all of us successfully) for days now. Especially today. I've been pretty good so far, but I nearly lost it when my brother called to say I love you, and I stood with my parents thinking how lucky and blessed I am to have such an amazing, wonderful, unsurpassable family.

And that is what I will miss. Not the things, the showers, the tv shows, the luxuries, though I will have many moments where I'll wish I had those. It's snuggling with my mom on the couch; fighting with my sister for who gets to nap on the dog bed in front of the fire; sitting outside in the summertime with the flowers blooming and watching the three dogs tussling in the grass, my mom sipping her wine cooler demurely; going for long, slow drives with my dad; dancing crazy with my mom in the kitchen; making up dog songs; playing cards; warm hugs; the overflowing rush I love I get when I set foot in this house. We are not a perfect family, but damn do we love, and I wouldn't have us any other way. I will miss miss MISS this place.

Even so, I'm so excited about leaving for Baltimore tomorrow, and then to DC, and then to Quito, and Cayambe. I'm been stagnant for too long, my head to too buzzy with unrealized ambitions, and I need to move on, travel and learn and have adventures and put myself out there. I can't wait to get going, to start doing something meaningful with my time, to really live again. I want my life to be enough so that, when I lay dying old in my bed, I can close my eyes and think, yeah, I lived. Not just existed, but really lived. I had a purpose.

That is what the Peace Corps is for me, right now: A meaning to be. A step to the future. A time in my life when I can someday think, those are the years that started it all.

My next post will be from Ecuador! I love you all.

Monday, February 16, 2009

I want a skinny brit with a blue box to materialize outside my front door.

My automatic way of dealing with stress is to fixate on one topic/story and play around with it in my head. Right now, it's Doctor Who and David Tennant. Damnit, I want a TARDIS. And a Tennant.

I am stressed. Not about leaving, but about getting ready to leave. Packing is a nightmare; I sit in the guest room surrounded by mountains of stuff and just don't even know where to start. I'm starting to feel a little out-of-body and dwelling more and more in my head than with my family. I think that I am unconsciously stressed about leaving and am just burying it under mountains of denial.

I was in Pittsburgh a few days ago, an impromptu trip. I had the last-minute opportunity to get a free IUD at the Magee outpatient clinic, and I jumped at the chance (without insurance, and I have no insurance, it would have been over $500!) Of course, it wasn't until after I drove for five hours and had the extremely painful procedure that I looked into it and realized that not all countries in the PC support it. After mountains (mountains!) of stress and a sleepless night, I found out that Ecuador does indeed support it, and I am A-Ok. I feel like I just dodged a bullet.

Moral of the story is, don't do ANYTHING, major or minor, without checking with the PC. You never know what could happen.

Pittsburgh was amazing, though. It felt so strange to drive into that city that I lived in for four years. I loved seeing everyone again, and I am so thankful to have such friends. Thanks, guys! I also saw my sister for my mom's birthday (we cooked such amazing food!), and my bro for Valentines day. On my mom's birthday we sat around, drank wine and laughed and talked while the dogs tussled together on the floor, and I thought, this is love.

The house is quiet now. I leave in one week for Baltimore, and then on to DC. I have so much left to do that I haven't done, but instead I'm wasting time on this and fanfiction and impossible stories in my head. Writing has always been my escape, but sometimes it's like rushing water in my head, and I just can't see past it.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Hello strangers

My blog is on peacecorpsjournals! I feel famous and a wee bit like I'm enabling voyeurism. But mostly just famous.

Three weeks until I leave PA for DC! I'm going to miss my mom's big fat turkeys and mashed potatoes, and my dog crawling into my lap even though she's way too big, and long hot baths, and Lost. My mind is humming with possibilities. I feel breathless.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snowed in...sort of

It snowed/iced/rained all day today, so as usual I sat indoors and didn't do much of anything. It may sound strange to say, but it's been rough not working these past few months. I'm an active person, and I like to feel like I have a purpose, and slowly getting my Peace Corps affairs in order and going to the gym are not enough to keep me from feeling damn, damn depressed sometimes.

It's under four weeks until my parents drive me to DC, and my emotions change daily. Some days I am so scared/nostalgic that I just want to huddle under my covers and hug my mommy and my puppy. I've realized that reading Peace Corps themed books (Living Poor, Nine Hills) is not a good idea at these times, as they are a bit terrifying, so I catch up on blogs instead, whose stories seem so much more loveable. Other days I am so ready to get out of here I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin, and four weeks seem too long.

I found out (unofficially) where I am going for training! Cayambe, a town in the mountains, specifically the highest mountain in Ecuador and the only place on the Equator where there is snow. We won't be up there, but apparently it can get down to 40 degrees and there is no heat. Nice.

I did my mock packing today, cramming the 80% of stuff I have ready to pack into my bags. First of all, thank God my brother had an old hiking backpack lying around, because the one Chuck gave me does not smell nice at all. (Sorry Chuck!) My second bag needs to be bigger, so in the end I think I'll be lugging the hiking backpack and one of my dad's Coast Guard sea bags, plus a military backpack as a carry on. Don't ask me how on earth I mean to transport all of it...I'll work on my upper body strength.

Despite my packing struggles, I still believe that I've packed less than most. I'm really paring down what to bring, so that my fully stuffed hiking bag weighs less than 30 pounds. Whew.

Time is moving oh so slowly and at the speed of light. I really feel like no one can understand what I'm going through unless they've gone through it themselves. I admire Gill so much for trekking off to France for a year when she was only fifteen. I admire those in the military who are sent overseas, for they are so much stronger than I am and what they are going into is so much scarier. But if you've never packed your little bags to move away from everything you love to a faraway country...then this feeling is just incomprehensible. I wake up every day and tell myself, "Sarah, you're moving to Ecuador." I still don't quite believe it.