And now to the most terrifying decision I've made...

If the job with my dad's friend falls through, I am going to join the Peace Corps.

I am simultaneously thrilled and excited and terrified and crazy. I said, so many times, that I would never do it. Two years! 27 months away from home! But now, after much research, meeting with the Pitt representative, realizing I can come home for Christmas, drooling over the amazing medical plan, fantasizing about what a jump it could give my career and life, and reading online blogs like crazy, it feels like the right thing to do. Honestly, the only thing to do.

It takes a long time for the application to go through, probably about nine months. I'm giving my dad one more month to find out about the job. If it's a no or a maybe (and I seriously doubt it will happen), I'm applying for the Peace Corps. Right now I'm joining Habitat for Humanity for some volunteer experience. If this happens, I'll move back home after I graduate and get a full time job (probably waitressing) and wait to leave around next January.

I would love to go to Latin America to do a Community Development program (which is one of the few programs I am qualified for and means I wouldn't be teaching kids English the whole time). But you don't get to choose where you go, and honestly, I'm game for anywhere. I'm more than game. Think about it: Sri Lanka, Swaziland, Fiji, Madagascar, Mongolia, anywhere! I would , could go anywhere.

And I'm not naive. I know how hard it will be. I know that it will be strange and difficult and achingly lonely and that at times I will break down and cry and want nothing more than to go home. I know that. I experienced it in Spain, when I was all alone, little girl without friends or a purpose. At least in the PC, I will have a purpose, a challenge. I will be doing something good, no, AMAZING with my life, giving two years to serve others in a faraway place. How many people can say that? I know myself, I know that I will cry and be sad and lonely and want to give up. But I also know that I won't give up, and that in the end, it will be wonderful. I will be changed irrevocably.

I am so excited; I kind of hope my dad's plan does fall through, so I can do this.

Peace Corps. Holy shit.