Friday, November 12, 2010

Only in Ecuador: an illustrated journey

Sitemate and I are running today on this idyllic little mountain footpath, when we round a corner to see a cow blocking the way.

"Oh," you say, "a cow. How lovely, with their moos and their silly udders and big brown eyes."

No. This bitch is pissed. She has eyes of murder.



The path is totally blocked on both sides. There are only two options: Go back, or duck between some murderous barbed wire into someone's private property to go around the cow, then go back through the barbed wire to rejoin the path.

Through the barbed wire we go! It snags on my pants and cuts my skin a little, but I've had my tetanus shot, so no worries!


The cow is watching us with her murder eyes, like: "Bitches, you think you can just go around this fine piece of pissed off bovine ass? I think not!"

And we are like: "Fuck you, cow. Fuck you and your demon stare."

So we find a place where we can get back through the barbed wire, but we have to belly-crawl right under a big spiderweb. The spider isn't in it, but that's almost worse, because then you don't know where it is.



We get back on the trail and yay! Now we can run. But first there is one thing we have to do.

Taunt the cow.



The cow stomps a little when Sitemate gets too close to taunt it with his ipod video recorder going (I have to get a copy of that tape!) and we are both yelling, "Yeah, that's right cow, whatcha gonna do, you slut! Fuck off! We beat you!" I finally call Sitemate back before he gets trampled. And we keep running.

Only in Ecuador.

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