A New Year

I realize that I have lacking in writing in this journal, and for that matter, even in my own journal. I feel like my entries are few and far between and unable to accurately show a realistic portrayal of Ecuador, its people, and my life here.

Recently, though, there has been very little to write. The weeks before I went home were filled with the agony of waiting, and also the desperate rush to finish revising my book before I left (though now I realize that it needs MORE revising. I swear, I will never be done.) Then I returned, went to Guaranda for New Year's, and have spent the remaining days sick in bed and spending far too much time on the internet.

First off:

Christmas was wonderful, and honestly, soul-sustaining. I encourage every volunteer who has even a lukewarm relationship with their family to go home at least once. Sometimes your mind just needs a respite, to be surrounded by nostalgic things before it can keep going.

The big news is, of course, that my amazing, brilliant, wonderful, smart, witty , fantastic sister is engaged, and this is a wedding that I will definately be coming home for. It's tentatively next fall, so I have about another ten months to go, and I am just so happy for her that I could frolic.

I also saw friends, exchanged gifts (Zombie Christmas Carols, anyone?), and generally just basked in love. Oh, and I got a netbook, since my old computer was just about to die on me.

Going to Guaranda for New Year's was not what I had anticipated or planned, but was fun and cold and turned out to be an amazing cultural experience.

A cultural note: In Ecuador, the tradition for New Year's Eve, or Ano Viejo (literally, old year) is to build representations of all of the sins and problems and anger of the year and burn them at midnight. Also, there are transvestites. Lots of them. This is due to a tradition that men dress up as widows of the old year, asking for money, which eventually evolved into simply dressing up as flashy women and doing a little booty-shaking dance for a few cents. Kids also hold cars hostage by stretching a rope across city streets and refusing to lower it until a fee of five cents is paid (or in some cases, until the driver gets royally pissed off and yells at the kids.) It's pretty awesome to see Ecuadorians, usually so strict in their machismo and male/female roles, dress up in glitter and high heels and makeup and hot pants. They are fierce.

The picture displayed is one of my favorite images of the night: A well done, room-sized display of the Simpsons (representing capitalism/US influences/what?) with a masked, smoking transvestite standing randomly at its side.

We (my new friend Katie and I, since the others went to bed early) were literally the only gringos in the entire city, which meant that we were famous, getting our pictures taking by everyone with a camera and dancing around fires with drunk boys and their elderly moms. Still, just to be safe (because though the enviroment was fun it did combine fire, the pent-up rage due to counting all the bad things that happened that year, and massive amounts of alcohol) we were home by midnight, just in time to watch the fireworks from afar.

Oh, and by the way, if you are ever planning a trip to the Ecuadorian Sierra (mountains), the road from Ambato to Guaranda is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen, with high paramos and grazing alpacas and huge, snow-capped peaks close enough to walk to.

In other news, I have found a martial arts "academy" that looks legit enough, though it doesn't have straight-up tae kwon do. It's apparently some mix of kickboxing, tae kwon do, jujitsu (throwing), and boxing, so it's...kinda of MMA? I'll have to see, but I'll definately be trying it out! I miss fighting. It gives me a sense of control and action, this feeling of being truly within my own skin, of power, that I lack in my day-to-day life. And hey, you can't beat ten bucks a month.

Things are going really well here, and will improve when I am feeling 100 percent and get my ass out of this apartment and start doing some real work. I'm anticipating that from here on out is when it all begins to take shape...God, I hope so. Once I slide back into my charlas, pick some more communties up, start my anti human trafficking work, maybe start writing some articles, and just, well, put myself out there, I'll feel more like a PC volunteer and less like a lazy ass. We'll see.

A happy and beautiful 2010 to all of you, everywhere.

Thanksgiving in Quito

Here is a quick entry to say that Thanksgiving this year was fantastic.

I went to the ambassador's house in Quito, ate a lavish meal with new friends, hung out with the ambassador and watched "Miracle on 34th street", went dancing, dawdled in a used bookstore, finally bought the end of Battlestar Galactica (and promptly watched it as soon as I got home), drank wine at a cafe and then ate spicy indian food. Everyone from the new PC group that I met were awesome, I felt comfortable and happy, and it really was a great couple of days.

Plus, it's now officially the Christmas season.

Two weeks!

PS: I also found out the reason that I've been getting sick so much lately is because I have amoebas, which is actually fantastic because I have a name to put to my problem and it is easily curable. Here's to (hopefully) the end of my stomach woes.

Nostagic thoughts

Now that I have internet in my apartment, I've been reading over all of my old livejournal entries from undergrad. It's a bit of nostagia, a bit of self torture: it makes me so, so homesick for Pittsburgh. Flying back to my apartment on my bicycle on a warm fall afternoon, stopping at the farmer's market on the way to browse the stalls for fresh produce and pie, giggling with Char over something completely random, sitting on that little grey couch in that place that felt like home for one brief year and feeling completely happy and at peace. That year still takes the place of the best year of my life, and I miss it with an ache that is almost tangible.

Not that I normally dwell on such things. I am very happy here, in Ecuador, in the Peace Corps. My work is going as well as can be expected, with the usual hiccups and people not showing up/cancelling charlas. There are electricity shortages so every day the power goes out for a few hours and I sit in the dark, surrounded by candles. The bunny continues to be cuddly and poops everywhere.

I just miss speaking my own language, having people in my life that I can really talk to, really be me, not this dumbed-down second-language version of me that everyone here sees. I miss the fact that Light Up Night is this weekend and I won't be there to see it, that my dad is going to make his traditional turkey neck soup on Thanksgiving and carve the turkey with the Thanksgiving bayonet and I won't be there to see it, that those sweet senior-year days are irrevocably lost to me now. I will never live in Pittsburgh again, never be so close to those people I care so much about again. Our culture is to move around, and our country is large enough to stretch our legs in. We scatter across the continent, across the world.

I guess all I want to say is: I miss you. All of you. I have a fantastic life here in Ecuador, I wake in the morning and thank God that I am here, in this place of eternal spring, but I miss you very deeply.

I chose a life that takes me far away, and I wouldn't change it for the world. But that doesn't mean that I can't look over my shoulder every once in a while.

Hippity Hoppity

Written on Monday, November 9, 2009

I was brushing my teeth the other day, standing on my roof and squinting in the early morning light, when I looked down and saw…

A bunny.

On my roof.

Really, it has to be one of the oddest things that has ever happened to me. Out of the many things one would not expect to see on a roof, a bunny is very high up on the list. It was (is) fuzzy and white with big floppy ears and giant bunny feet. I’ve named him Ben. I suppose he has another name, but I haven’t asked. I don’t even know if he really is a he. (So far only one friend has gotten why I chose the name Ben. He said, and I quote: "Oh, that's just sick!")

He’s my landlord’s sons’ new pet. They don’t have anywhere to put him right now so they are keeping him on the roof. Which is fine by me, except when he poops.

Plus, he’s an odd bunny. I mean, I’m not an expert in bunny behavior, but I always assumed that they were a little like guinea pigs, always afraid and cowering in a corner somewhere. Not this bunny. This bunny is awesome. He hops around the roof, follows me around, sits in my lap, nibbles my toes, and inspects my rooms. He’s the damn friendliest bunny ever.

So Ben the Bunny is my new pseudo-pet, the way Tilney the Dog was my old pseudo-pet. And that’s about all I have in bunny news today.

In other news, which I won’t really get into because I’m still upset by it, I got sick in El Chaco and was unable to go whitewater rafting. Yeah, it sucked.

Plus, I’m sick now, and have been practically bed ridden for the past four days. Luckily, I had no plans, so was just able to sleep a lot, and drink many cups of tea and eat pudding for dinner.

What else is new? I have a lot of work planned for the upcoming weeks. Adam has left to venture into the jungle, which leaves me relieved and happy to be left alone for a while. All of my Christmas shopping is (finally) done. Over half of my novel is revised. I have friends in town who are actually my age. Things are going very, very well here.

Plus, bunnies make everything better.

5 weeks until I go home! 5 weeks! Gahhh! *flails* I’ve never been so excited for anything in my life.

Small Blessings

So the other day Adam and I walk out of the apartment, on our way to Ambato to wash alllll of my dirty laundry, and he stops, cocks his head, looks around, and asks: “Where’s my motorcycle?”

To which I very intelligently said: “Huh?”

“My motorcycle.”

“Are you sure you parked it here?”“Yes.”

“Well….shit.”

We both did long, sweeping evaluations of the street, as if it were going to magically pop up a few doors down from when it was parked. We would have panicked, but it was long gone, and seeing as how Adam hadn’t even locked it or anything, it seemed rather stupid to panic.

Actually, he took it rather well, besides a few scathing remarks about Ecuadorians. I was hurt, because my town is touted on being so safe, the people so nice, and I felt incredibly secure here, and that feeling was now ruined. Plus, I was sure, absolutely positive, that this wouldn’t have happened it he wasn’t a gringo. Shitty Ecuador, I thought. Stupid for me to believe that there would be any decency in this place, or that in the place I call my home people wouldn’t want to rob me blind.

A few days go by. Adam makes a few flyers, advertising a reward for the bike. I tell him, in nicer words, that he can do whatever he wants, but he is being stupid. Really stupid. The bike is long gone, probably sold for parts by now. Making flyers is stupid waste of time. In fact, the Ecuadorians will probably snicker at him behind his back for doing such a thing. Let it go.

He makes the flyers and pastes them around town.

Two days later, I get the call. Someone has the bike.

The story goes: This young guy was going to his work as an ayudante (driver’s helper) on the buses at about 5 am last Monday when he saw a motorcycle in the middle of a back street, bent up and with the shit kicked out of it, but still functioning, only a few things broken. Never one to miss an opportunity, he loads it into the back of a truck and takes it home. A few days later, he spots the flyers and gives me a call. I go and see it: he’s telling the truth. There, in all of its banged up glory, is Adam’s motorcycle.

Well, holy shit.

I’m just…awestruck. Blown away. This is incredible. That anyone, but especially a young man with a crappy job and a wife and kid in this country where it is so, so easy to take a bike to a shop and strip it for parts, no questions asked, would return a motorcycle is unbelievable. Now of course there’s the odd chance that he took it hoping there would be a reward, but that’s kind of silly. Most people wouldn’t have put up a flyer. And honestly, if he was going to be dishonest, he could have made a lot more money stripping it for parts than the reward we’re giving him, which is $200. Adam guestimates that he could have made at least $400 by selling. So this young guy just took a $200 pay cut to do the right thing.

Faith in Humanity = restored.

This whole story just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

In other news, I’m going whitewater rafting with other PC volunteers this Halloween, costume include. (I’m a pirate....arrrrr). I’ve been spending a lot of time in my hammock; during the day it’s a great nap or book revision spot, as long as I have lots of sunblock, and at night there is enough light to read by, so I can snuggle in a blanket with a pillow and a good book.

I am so incredibly content right now, doing my work and having plenty of time to myself as well. My first charlas went fantastically and I have more scheduled for the upcoming weeks. And Christmas….don’t get me started! I’m so excited I can’t even express it. Seven weeks!

Did I fall asleep? For a little while; or, it seems my titles are descending into incomprehensible tv show quotes

Hello all.


It’s been far too long since I updated my blog, but life has been crazy and busy and crazy and busy and fantastic.

I moved out of my previous town and into Patate, which has changed things so completely that I can’t even express it in words. My apartment is amazing, I have work flooding in from all sides, and have been having adventures like it’s nobody’s business. I met a guy, but that’s a whole other story that I won’t be getting into here (he’s leaving soon, anyway.) I’ve been in a cloud forest and traveled around and done so many, many things that I’ll have to tell you all about when I see you.

Memorable moments:

-The grad school fair in Quito was amazing, and totally changed my outlook on what I want to go to graduate school for. My choice now: a dual degree in international relations and journalism. There are several great schools that offer dual degrees like this, including the University of Syracruse, U of Denver, and American.

-I got into the Anti-TIPS task force, a Peace Corps group that fights human trafficking in Ecuador. We meet for the first time next month in Guayaquil!

- I was in my very first earthquake! The whole room shook and things fell off the shelf. I had to run under a doorway to be safe, but it wasn’t that bad so there was no danger. Actually it was all very exciting.

- I have work in several communities, one of which is in a cloud forest. I have almost too much work to do at the moment, and I might have to start turning people down soon. I’m also working with a conservation group, which has taken the place in my life that the Red Cross was supposed to take. They help me and take me to communities and work with me every step along the way. They are my saving grace.

-Reconnect was a long week of lectures, but we had some good times, and at the end of it almost everyone from our Omnibus came to Rio Bamba for the weekend.

-I went to my first Ecuadorian wedding last night, for the daughter of the family that I am very close to in Patate. It was beautiful and very western with the bride in a white dress and a solemn ceremony.

-I AM GETTING INTERNET IN MY APARTMENT. I am officially in Posh Corps. I live in the center of a lovely town, several blocks from a pool, and I’m getting cheap internet in my apartment. So everyone, take note: get a skype account. I will be available to speak almost every day.


-Many things happened that I can’t talk about here, but were all unique and fun and crazy and life changing.


Of course, there are always down sides. I’m nervous with all of this work, facing my first real classes, and worried that everyone is going to find out that I don’t really know what I am talking about. The boy situation has turned sad, as he is leaving soon and I will miss his presence in my life. I am missing my best friend’s wedding in two weeks. I miss home like crazy, which is weird because I am so happy here, but it has just been a long time and I feel the pull of homesickness every day.

This is a beautiful place that I live in. I am happy in Ecuador.

Nine weeks until December 15th!

Destiny, John, is a Fickle Bitch

Okay, so maybe my last entry was a little depressing. Truth is, I’ve been a little depressed lately. It took making myself sick in Tena to allow myself to admit: I’ve been depressed. And I’m okay with that. In fact, isn’t it a right of passage in the Peace Corps, to go through the U-Curve and be a little depressed and culture-shocky for a while before rising up, phoenix-like, stronger than before and able to deal with anything life hands you?

Yeah, I’m choosing to look at it like that. Phoenix Sarah. That’s me.

And it’s ending, because the truth is, life is about to get a whole lot better really soon, and really fast. At the moment I’m still in my house in LV, spending my days alone and marginally crazy, but yes! September, the month of change and awesomeness, is in a few days. And then…

I found an apartment! And it’s been approved! It’s amazing and I love it and I want to give it kisses and snuggles. It is in Patate, perched on the roof of a three story building overlooking the beautiful central park, which means that I will have the whole roof to myself, which also means that I will be able to eat/lay in my hammock/write/watch tv on my laptop/do yoga/mediate/ do anything I freaking want to outside, without anyone being able to see me or stare at me or anything! I am right near the internet café, the central park, the weekly market, G and G’s house (the lovely family who has kept me sane here), the bus stop, the bakery, everything. There is even a gym in Patate, but I have to check it out, because it’s probably pretty skanky.

I will still try and do work in my current community, but there is no reason for me to live here. In fact, it’s even detrimental to my other work, considering how hard it is to get to town and how expensive it is to get a car back. In Patate, there is even talk of my working with women’s groups on things like food production and family gardens, among the million other possibilities that will open up to me once I live there.

Though part of me does feel bad, with thoughts like, “if I had just stuck it out a little bit longer, could I really have integrated? Could I have made this village my own, been accepted into the community, done some real good?” but then I realize that I’ve been giving it my all for four months with no success, and honestly, my mental health needs this. I need this. And even though, or especially because, I’m in the Peace Corps, far from home trying to do some good in this world, I need to come first. This will make me happy. I need this.

(On a side note: I discovered the other day that no one has been visiting me, and simply staring at me from the end of my path, because my landlord has been telling them that they are not allowed to come to my house for any reason! That no one but his family can visit me! I’m heard some really not-nice things about my landlord. I’ve tried to correct this prohibition, but still…chalk it up to one more reason to hightail it out of here.)

So, the apartment is still being fixed up, and will hopefully be ready just in time for the fiestas de cantonizacion in Patate, the festival of the founding of the town. It’s a really big deal, and I think that there will be parades and fireworks. One more great thing about September.

More good September news: On the 7th there is a graduate school fair for international studies in Quito that I’m going to try and go to. Schools like Harvard and Georgetown will be represented, and I’m really excited and curious to hear about what kind of programs and job opportunities are out there for someone who wants to spend their whole life traveling. I still have Goucher’s nonfiction writing MFA as my first choice, but it’s nice to have an open mind.

Also: Reconnect! Sadly, not with the whole Omnibus, but it will be a fun week in Rio Bamba nonetheless.

Also: School starts! Enter Sarah: English teacher of small children (made all the more interesting/scary by the fact that I don’t really like small children), agricultural helper of high schoolers and an elementary ecological club, working side by side with teachers, doctors, Red Cross volunteers, missionaries, and guitar-playing nuns. Life is going to be interesting.

Also: It will be only three months until I go home for Christmas, and I will be able to finally buy my plane ticket and have a set date!

Three cheers for September!

God, I need this.

In other news, when I wasn’t sick, Tena was awesome. What a great cluster. Dan and Laurel = my heroes. Sarah K’s puppy = adorable. The weather = heaven. The city = clean and beautiful.

We went caving at Sarah K’s site. Headlamps, swimming through underground pools and climbing up underground waterfalls, bats flitting about overhead, the air cool and damp: it was an adventure. At one point as we moved onward, Sarah K paused and looked at a massive heap of rocks, musing: “hmmm, that wasn’t there the other day. It looks a whole section of the ceiling just caved in.”

To which we all replied: “WHAT????”

She said: “You guys want to keep going down this way?”

“HELL NO!”

So we went down another “arm” of the caves, one that tourists don’t usually go down, and it wasn’t until we had climbed up a steep, slippery hill to stand on a large plateau that Sarah K said: “Oh yeah, these are the spider caves. There are SO MANY down here. And they are super poisonous too. Kind of spider-scorpions. But spiders. Big ones. Really big. Huge.”

And then, shining a light on the wall, Mike goes: “Oh yeah. Here’s one.”

Dan: “Wow, I can see it from all the way over here.”

Mike: “Here’s another one. And another. Here’s one. Here’s one. Here’s one.”

Someone else: “Wow, there are like ten spiders on that wall alone.”

Me: (Hyperventilating) Have I mentioned that I have really bad arachnophobia?

Sarah K: Okay, now everyone turn out your headlamps and let’s stand in the dark! I want to tell a story.

Me: (Hyperventilating) Have I mentioned that I have really bad arachnophobia?!!!

Everyone: Oh, come on, it’s okay, they’re all the way over on that wall, they’re more scared of you than you are of them, we’ll only be in the dark for a second, etc etc…

Me: (Hyperventilating) HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I HAVE REALLY BAD ARACHNOPHOBIA?????

In the end (and I’m so proud of myself) I turned off my headlamp and stood in the dark, though I have to admit I was prancing around like a nervous horse, lifting my feet in a strange kind of dance to discourage any large spider-scorpions from mistaking my leg for a stalagmite. And I got through it! I’ve come a long, long way from how bad this fear used to be. However, it didn’t help that as we walked back Mike kept looking around and saying, “There’s one, there’s one…”

So I survived the spider caves! I am a brave warrior.

I think that is the theme of this entry: I am a brave warrior. Brave, brave, brave warrior.

One final note: I never mean to upset or scare anyone with these blog entries. Please, my loving family and friends, be assured that I am safe and taking very good care of myself. I am in no danger, not in my site or anywhere in Ecuador. Please, don’t take my rants as a reason to worry about me. I am a brave warrior.

That being said, it’s nice to know that people love me enough to worry. I’m deeply sorry for causing you anxiety, Uncle Charlie, and I hope to see you and the whole family at Christmas. I love you.

I love all of you.